A Hidden Agenda

It came to me as a shock one day when I was 10 years into my Chiropractic practice:

NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO HEAL.

I couldn’t believe how blind I was.
That people coming to see me for help from their pain,
that sometimes they were only just coming for validation.

To feel seen.

but NOT to heal.

While its true that in order to heal we must first feel connected to others,
having our pain and experience validated by someone,

to TRULY heal we must go deeper than that.

I would then tell these patients exactly what needed to happen in order to
solve their issues with anxiety, depression, their digestive issues,
their chronic pain disorders….

and many would just run the other way.

My mentor, Peter Levine calls it “fleeing from health.”

As it turns out, unless we address the hidden agenda behind what’s keeping us stuck
Stuck in the same relationship dynamics,
stuck with the same story again and again,
like groundhog day, re-living the same experience in our lives with health and relationships,
we are bound to repeat it again and again.
Examples:

One of my clients realized her relapse of her diagnosis of “MS” was a way she would unconsciously get significance
when she was feeling forgotten.
As soon as she saw that, she was able to shift it and go back into remission.
One of our participants realized that when she got migraines as a teenager,
it was the only time her mother cared for her — and that awareness shifted the unconscious motive
and she no longer needed headaches to give her that connection.

You GOTTA ADMIT IT TO SHIFT IT.

But it’s not easy, because there’s a whole pile of Ego blocking our view of the truth.

The answer is to find a guide and a community where you can engage in the healing conversation TOGETHER.

You can’t do it alone,
and no one can do it for you.
When you do, those hidden agendas come to light,
relationships transform, from insecure to secure,
and your healthy vibrant calm self naturally emerges.

See you at the next perfect time.