Another Way Of Looking At Boundaries
Just had this question come in my DM’s:
“What do healthy boundaries look like and how do I let go of guilt while setting boundaries?”
👆🏽 This is a tough one.
Most of us grew up in environments where boundaries didn’t exist.
I definitely know the feeling.
Saying “no,” or having a request or preference was often met with anger, resentment, or shame.
The message our younger selves get:
“Setting boundaries are pointless, they’re either denied, ignored, or met with resistance/anger.”
It doesn’t feel safe.
So it’s no surprise that we have trouble with setting boundaries.
Defining who we are and speaking our truth is an art form that requires constant practice.
One that has to have us highly attuned to our own bodies, our own values, our own desires, and our own voice.
If we can’t regulate our emotions, we will be unable to withstand the guilt involved in speaking our truth to people who can’t understand us or see things from our perspective.
Guilt is the price of admission for differentiation from enmeshment with others. You can’t do it without guilt.
Letting go of guilt is an art form that involves learning how to become trigger proof (not trigger LESS) to guilt.
When we don’t make it a priority to master this art, or leave it out, completely, we end up denying ourselves,
and feeling resentful to the other person we couldn’t say no to.
When you get this right, you’re able to speak your truth and lean into the discomfort when you speak it.
Join our Facebook community and learn more on how to actually do this. https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof
When you’re ready, here’s what we got:
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If you’re tired of content based on fear, and you want to listen to something while you drive, cook, or any time you want to grow, listen to over 160 Fb Live Transmissions I did over the last 18 months to help my community with trainings on Transforming our relationships by learning how to regulate our own Autonomic Nervous Systems so we can work to heal the free-floating anxiety in the background of our lives, transform our relationships, and Break Cycles of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with us.
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