Another Way Of Looking At Boundaries

Just had this question come in my DM’s:

“What do healthy boundaries look like and how do I let go of guilt while setting boundaries?”

👆🏽 This is a tough one.
Most of us grew up in environments where boundaries didn’t exist.
I definitely know the feeling.
Saying “no,” or having a request or preference was often met with anger, resentment, or shame.

The message our younger selves get:

“Setting boundaries are pointless, they’re either denied, ignored, or met with resistance/anger.”

It doesn’t feel safe.

So it’s no surprise that we have trouble with setting boundaries.

Defining who we are and speaking our truth is an art form that requires constant practice.

One that has to have us highly attuned to our own bodies, our own values, our own desires, and our own voice.

If we can’t regulate our emotions, we will be unable to withstand the guilt involved in speaking our truth to people who can’t understand us or see things from our perspective.

Guilt is the price of admission for differentiation from enmeshment with others. You can’t do it without guilt.

Letting go of guilt is an art form that involves learning how to become trigger proof (not trigger LESS) to guilt.

When we don’t make it a priority to master this art, or leave it out, completely, we end up denying ourselves,
and feeling resentful to the other person we couldn’t say no to.

When you get this right, you’re able to speak your truth and lean into the discomfort when you speak it.

Join our Facebook community and learn more on how to actually do this.

When you’re ready, here’s what we got:

The 90-day program to break trauma bonds

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If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships

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Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity

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Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you’re wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you’re ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what’s keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.

If you’re tired of content based on fear, and you want to listen to something while you drive, cook, or any time you want to grow, listen to over 160 Fb Live Transmissions I did over the last 18 months to help my community with trainings on Transforming our relationships by learning how to regulate our own Autonomic Nervous Systems so we can work to heal the free-floating anxiety in the background of our lives, transform our relationships, and Break Cycles of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with us.
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Dr. Nima Rahmany is a retired Chiropractor and interpersonal trauma specialist studying and teaching principles of healing mind and body.

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Dr. Nima Rahmany

Dr. Nima Rahmany is a retired Chiropractor and interpersonal trauma specialist studying and teaching principles of healing mind and body.