How Do You Deal With Conflict?
Dr. Hamer- -a controversial German physician developed a theory that centers on the idea
that every illness is a manifestation of a specific unresolved CONFLICT.
It’s what I noticed in every single patient with Chronic Illness in my 20 year Chiropractic practice.
It was like a Eureka moment as I could then merge my passion for personal growth with my healing practice.
I went down a rabbit hole and integrated the greatest cognitive methods I could find
to help solve my personal challenges with anxiety and a lack of fulfillment and purpose.
While those methodologies helped me find how to change a story of the past,
it didn’t help me resolve conflicts with a partner AS THEY AROSE,
and our wounds would activate each other.
It all came boiling to the surface when I found myself knee deep in a Trauma Bond.
A Trauma Bond is a highly volatile push/pull dynamic that cycles between two insecure people
who are unconsciously playing out childhood dynamics in their home.
At first it was fun, but very soon,
my home became like a battlefield each day,
walking on eggshells,
constant conflict,
tip-toeing around each other,
fawning or fighting for flee-ing or f*cking.
There was NO PEACE.
We were stuck in a “should I stay or go” dynamic for 4 years,
knowing it wasn’t healthy but not knowing how to break free.
It’s like two addicts who hated each other but couldn’t NOT be together.
Her anxious attachment would trigger my avoidance and I would want to run,
which would trigger her anxious attachment even more.
The more space I needed,
the more connection she needed.
It became a nightmare.
I was anxious ALL THE TIME.
I didn’t want to invite anyone over.
I just wanted to hide from everyone — even my own family.
I was starting to push into my 40’s at that point,
and I was afraid that I would never have the experience of relationships that felt peaceful.
Where we were both “all in” and committed.
I was terrified of either going to an early grave because we were slowly killing one another,
or dying alone.
Turns out it wasn’t my fault.
I hadn’t learned how to integrate my shadows yet —
I hadn’t learned how to operate my nervous system and read someone else’s.
I hadn’t yet mastered the Rupture / Repair cycle.
I didn’t know how to access and communicate my boundaries.
And I didn’t understand the nuances
of what the feminine needed in communication in order to feel safe,
And I gaslit my own needs for respect,
and I was outsourcing my self-love externally.
HER anxiety became MY anxiety,
and we fed into each other like pouring gasoline onto each others’ flames.
I share this because of how people tearfully express their shame
when they reach out to me telling me how their home feels like a toxic war zone,
not realizing that they are not alone.
If you can relate, just know it’s not your fault you didn’t learn these fundamental relational skills.
When we’re able to move through the fear and shame and commit to mastering the skills
of self regulation and co-regulation, your home becomes a place of peace.
You magnetize the right connection that’s healthy.
On the other side of the inner work, I was able to do what I never thought i would do:
To raise a family — where my son gets to grow in an environment where he knows he’s safe.
All his emotions are welcome — and he’s taught to not push them aside.
There’s no fear or threat associated with his expression.
Boundaries are taught.
There’s no “punishment.”
He gets coached (yes you can learn this too).
His mother respects his father.
His father cherishes his mother.
There’s healthy communication, and he gets to see when his mother and father have disagreements,
they repair in MINUTES so he doesn’t have to live in a space where the energy is heavy,
and he never feels like it’s about him.
This is all he has known.
It didn’t happen without effort.
It’s now my purpose to teach others how to do the same.
Now helping hundreds over the last couple years alone,
folks stuck in toxic and conflicting dynamics gone awry,
it’s the most challenging work we can do:
To put down the magnifying glass and pick up a mirror.
Relationships can bring out the best in us without the right tools and practices.
All the training we learn in books and therapy gets thrown out the window the second we get triggered.
It’s what happens in that moment between stimulus and response that can cause massive growth,
or destroy the chances of our next generation who grow up in a home that feels like a battlefield.
If you’re reading this, it means you’re on the same path — and for that, I give you Kudos.
It’s meaningful work to break the cycle.
You CAN create a home that feels like a sanctuary
without having to avoid uncomfortable conversations in order to keep the peace.
When the energy of the home is dialled in,
all other aspects of life can flourish from there:
Purpose, health, and wealth.
All by leaning into the willingness and courage to learn what wasn’t taught to us.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
P.S.
Are you ready to move beyond just reading books and watching YouTube videos?
It’s time to EXPERIENCE the transformation of expanding your capacity,
rewiring insecure patterns, stopping fawning, and showing up magnetic.
Join us for The Overview Experience —
a powerful 6-hour training that feels like 6 years of therapy condensed into one transformative session.
You won’t leave the same person who came in.
You’ll gain new skills, learn to distinguish between your shadows and blind spots,
and break the infinite loop of conflict in the anxious/avoidant trap.
Secure attachments aren’t found; they are built through the conflict/repair cycle.
At The Overview Experience, you’ll learn to take command of your relationship anxiety
and expose your blind spots in a fun, supportive environment with committed Cyclebreakers.
Event Details:
Date:
• Saturday, June 29th, 12–6pm PST (3–9pm EST)
• Sunday, June 30th, 5am-11am Sydney time
What You’ll Learn:
• Master the Rupture/Repair Process
• Gain Clarity and Confidence in the “should I stay or go” question
• Communicate in a magnetic frequency to inspire the healthy masculine/feminine
• Understand the distinction between Conscious and Unconscious Polarity
• Develop the critical skills to break free from Codependency and Trauma Bonding
Special Offer:
I’m opening the doors for 20 individuals ready to upgrade their relational and magnetic game.
This session will help you implement what you’ve learned and identify any missing blind spots.
First come first served to master the art of secure attachment.
Register now, fill out the form, and share your backstory so I can tailor the experience to your needs.
Take the first step towards becoming Trigger-Proof and transforming what you attract in relational dynamics.
REGISTER NOW to secure your spot and grab a 1–1 integration session, valued at $997, for free.
