Individuation: Why Life Su*%s Without It
If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering “is this all there is to life?”
then I want you to know that I get it.
Even though since I was 13 I always dreamed of being a Chiropractor
(despite my parents initial reaction of discouragement),
after 10 years in practice I found myself feeling uninspired in treating
physical symptoms of stress and trauma related problems in my patients.
I craved and hungered to go deeper.
To get to the root cause.
After seeing some crazy miraculous results in my office with patients who became students in the in-office workshops I held,
My soul was calling me to make the leap.
Even though I was crapping my pants and people were wondering if I was crazy,
I was ready to make the move to teaching full-time.
When I would share this with my parents, the idea was met with even GREATER discouragement.
It felt like they weren’t supporting me. They were my harshest critics over the idea.
Their approval and validation meant everything to me, but not more than my soul’s calling.
So once again, I felt unseen, unheard, and misunderstood
(you see why I gravitate to teaching so much 😉)
DEEP DOWN, I KNEW THEY WOULD BE EATING THEIR WORDS ONE DAY.
I was so confident, I pulled a Kanye West and brought my buddy with a camera to record them in an interview.
I wasn’t expecting what took place:
In that interview, my dad implanted an idea inside my mind.
4 years later, almost as he predicted, that vision/idea magically came to pass — all caught on camera.
The rest is history.
Today, I lead a global community of Cyclebreakers who are learning how to break the cycle of trauma passed down to them
and all our trainings help people break through “impossible” problems
simply because we point them towards the mastery off this one word:
Individuation is the process whereby we develop a sense of IDENTITY and INDIVIDUALITY that’s separate
and distinct from others.
One’s unique self-identity, which is separate from that of any other individual,
develops through the process of individuation.
Individuation is ongoing and can be considered both a goal and a lifelong process for all of us to
aspire to in order to live meaningful healthy lives.
NOT individuating from our parents is one of the reasons why we get into toxic relationships
with the same types of people, and fall into the same patterns of arguments, and completely lack boundaries, or why we feel we are unworthy and undeserving.
It’s all because of a LACK OF Individuation.
One of the main symptoms that your soul is calling you to individuate is the experience of feeling a hunger
for MEANING AND PURPOSE.
Without individuating, we fall into the illusion that we don’t have one.
The coolest part about this video for me is watching my process of individuation. A 6 year span in 11 minutes
watching me try to find my own way through the world OUTSIDE of the safety of my parents approval.
I could feel how badly I was fighting for it.
And I can feel when I finally broke through.
Can you see it in the video?
This may not be a big deal to you, but as a Persian kid who loves his family, the process of
individuating (finally in my 40’s) was the most difficult experience of my entire life.
But well worth it — because without it — I couldn’t find a relationship that was stable and secure.
Not while I was still married to my parents.
That’s why it’s such an honor for me to hold space for our Cyclebreakers community
as they individuate from the impact of their family systems on their OWN lives.
Without individuation, our lives don’t belong to us.
We make choices based on outside validation, and abandon ourselves.
We chase externals, and we lose touch with who we are.
We feel lost, hopeless and purposeless.
I’m here to tell you, you’re NOT MISSING “purpose”.
All that’s missing is a path to your individuation that makes sense to you.
Luckily, if this video and message resonates with you,
you can begin carving out that path,
without having to do it alone.
Imagine having access to hundreds of others who are doing the same.
What difference would that make for you in this one life you have?
If you’re ready to find out, join us at
our Next Overview Experience where I break it all down for you.
Take the red pill, and we’ll see you on the other side, Neo.
When you’re ready, here’s what we got:
Or hop on a call.