Is This Real?

Dr. Nima Rahmany
4 min readFeb 20, 2022


(Or some bullshit false hope you give people?)

Working with Trauma is no joke.

Because we’ve all had the experience of our boundaries being broken, there’s an inherent lack of trust we all have when it comes to life in general.

We feel people are out to hurt us.

We feel the fear of being taken advantage of.

I’ve had people sign up to work with us to help them get more clarity on what keeps going wrong in their relationships… On breaking the toxic patterns they keep running into….

And often the question comes up…

“Is this even real? How can I trust THIS when I feel so isolated and alone, feeling like I’ve been trying EVERYTHING?”

That was one of the problems that “Nancy” was facing when she first reached out to us.

Even though she was intelligent, beautiful, and kind and talented as a writer, she was completely in hiding from the world. She was stuck in depression, run by her addictions, feeling frustrated because she’s “already done a lot of personal growth work.”

And in speaking with her, I could tell.

Her problem she was facing where she didn’t feel safe to engage with the world was the same as mine.

Her fear of getting into a relationship was MY EXACT FEAR.

Her stumbling block was MY stumbling block.

That’s why it makes my heart sing to share this with people.

She was missing the very thing I was missing in my journey through life.


She was in “bondage” (not the fun kind) to an energetic dynamic to her pain, all the while trying not to feel it, and avoid it.

She did the uncomfortable thing.

She invested in herself.

After going intensive on working to “Uncouple” from her Trauma Bonds… Her depression lifted, she began writing, and her business started taking off. She started engaging with life again. Soon, she met someone for the first time in YEARS AFTER HIDING — and boom! Back to the land of the living!

But that didn’t last long.

Things didn’t work out.

The old version of her would have gone into hiding and sedate herself, all the while validating her narrative that was all about “SEE!!! SCREW MEN! I KNEW THEY WEREN’T SAFE!!”

This time was different. She was able to use the tools she learned to self-regulate, reconnect with herself, and dissolve the emotional charge and get complete enough to get back on the scene…

This time was different.

She wasn’t the same person.

She broke the cycle that didn’t even start with her.

She no longer was attached to her old dance of victimhood she knew so well.

I just got this in my DM’s today and it brought a smile to my face.

I did a free workshop (The Path To Becoming A CycleBreaker) outlining the exact path we took Nancy (and all the other people you see in here making massive shifts in their relationships and life) through to get the outcome(s) they are creating.

Hint: It all has to do with your relationship to Trauma Bonds.

It was a massive discovery for me that helped me remove my shame about my relationship patterns and create a roadmap where I now am able to say I have the most Secure Partnership I’ve ever had in my entire life (finally in my mid 40's).

In this workshop I pretended I’m talking to my 30 year old self and share everything I wish I knew back then that would have saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars in divorce fees, sleepless nights, and abuse given and received.

It was not comfortable to share.

And like all my other content, it brang up some triggers and emotions. Prepare for that. No it won’t kill you, (but it might bruise your ego).

If you’re ready to break the cycle that has you stuck in push pull dynamics that keep you in relationships that are not healthy, and you have no idea how to get out, whether you should stay or go…

Or like in Nancy’s case, single but not feeling safe to be in relationships…

Just know none of it is your fault.

There’s a path to healing, and it calls on all of us to be the ones to break the cycle.

Bring a pen, an open heart, all your fears, doubts, and insecurities, and a willingness to take action, and we’ll see you then.

This is NOT false hope. This is NOT fantasy thinking.

No one is coming to save you, and NO the work is not easy.

But our lives and health depend on it.

Comment below or DM me to get the replay.



Dr. Nima Rahmany

Dr. Nima Rahmany is a retired Chiropractor and interpersonal trauma specialist studying and teaching principles of healing mind and body.