The Biggest Lesson I’ve Ever Learned In My Life

(This is a Pic of Dominic who’s taking a shit right into my hand — he’s ok with not knowing what to do about it. Can’t wait to teach him this lesson that took me 44 years to learn.)

My ability to deal well with “not knowing” is more important than what I know.

In March 2020, while under Quarantine for 2 weeks by myself, I started a new Facebook group called “Triggerproof”.

It’s now grown to almost 4000 members.

In it I would go live every day as the world began to fall apart and people began to unravel and relationships began to crumble.

All of our unresolved grief, unprocessed and unaddressed emotions, fears, and anxieties began to bubble to the surface and there was a line drawn in the sand between those who were able to emotionally adapt and those that couldn’t.

We are walking into uncertainty and the unknown every single day.

I said back then that those who come out ahead — stronger (not weaker) through this will have one thing in common:

Resiliency, emotional regulation, and an ability to become a master of THEMSELVES through the unknown.

How good am I at “not knowing?”

How safe can I feel within myself without “knowing?”

I used to devour learning how to solve these mysteries for myself and others. I needed to KNOW everything — — until I realized I didn’t have to know EVERYTHING.

I was just wise to learn how to become better at “not knowing”.

This small but significant shift has allowed me to decrease the anxiety in my body that had plagued me for years.

I am 98% better with my reactivity (this gets better and better each month through each trigger).

I feel safe when things are calm now.

(Huge distinction from before).

I don’t feel like I need to create drama and struggle to feel alive or productive.

I sleep perfectly through the night (thanks to Diana who chooses to take care of the little one when he wakes up).

When you master this,

Everything changes including relationships, and you begin to give yourself permission to follow your dharma — that calling — the voice within…

The one that if you choose to follow, requires you to get comfortable with “not knowing”.

It’s not about what you know.

It’s all about how you deal with “not knowing” because when you do, you’ll learn whatever you need to know on the way.