The Worst
“It’s the most wonderful time…. of the year.”
Every year in my Chiropractic practice, we would see a “bump”
in people coming in stressed, disconnected, angry, or dissociated
in December leading up to the holidays.
Since I made the leap into teaching people how to become their own medicine,through Nervous System Regulation, healing from Trauma Bonds and Shadow work,
I would notice an “uptick” in our community with anxiety, ruptures,
and the prevalence of leaning into the things we use to sedate ourselves (food, weed, sex, porn).
Other than the usual culprits this time of year — financial pressure and time constraints —
All of the above starts to flare up this time of year for a more insidious reason:
ENMESHMENT TRAUMA
Enmeshment trauma is a developmental trauma we experience when the physical,
spiritual and emotional boundaries we normally create in healthy secure homes withsecure conscious parents become trampled over to the point where we lose ourselves
for the sake of attachment and belonging.
This looks like:
Being Unable to say “no” without paralyzing guilt
Running ourselves ragged so we can be perceived as “good”
Abandoning ourselves and being hyper-vigilantly pre-occupied with getting validation and approval
No wonder why your jaw ends up tense, headaches emerge, digestion is shot, sleep is impacted,
and we are in a constant state of alarm.
This way of being spills over to everyone in the family.
(Just think of what it was like growing up with mom/dad who were stressed out and disconnected this time of year).
But what if you’re coming in the holidays with some deeper wounds?
A relationship that’s on the rocks — holidays make you TRULY face the fact things aren’t working
The painful awareness that you have lost someone — and you feel even more alone over the holidays
Put all of this together — and the “most wonderful time of the year” ends up becoming the WORST.
That was me During Christmas of 2018. I was in the midst of untangling from my Trauma Bond and I made a pact with myself:
THAT I WAS NEVER GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER SHITTY HOLIDAY SEASON AGAIN.
My commitment was to create a relationship with MYSELF FIRST that felt like a safe container.
That I was going to invest the time, the effort, the energy, the resources to truly deepening my relationship with myself FIRST.
Let’s just say since making that commitment — the Holidays have been so magical — that we got a new puppy and named him “Magic”
to describe the entire journey.
That’s why on Saturday December 17th we’re combining Breathwork and Badassery and The Overview Experience into one
live virtual event so that a week before the holidays, the folks in the community can break that vicious cycle of self abandonment
and give their families the greatest Holiday gift they can give:
A relaxed, self-loving and regulated Husband, Wife, Son, Daughter, and / or partner.
Your relaxed, calm, self-loving presence is truly a gift to everyone around you.
When we plant our flag in the ground and claim time for ourselves to connect deeper — everything shifts:
A loving and more present relationship with ourselves
Our triggers/activations that family systems bring us don’t cause us to react in old patterns
A greater “pause” between stimulus and response
Deeper understanding for the flawed humans who are in our family (because we’re more ok with our own flaws)
We become better at loving — on the other side of loving ourselves.
If you’re wanting to take this time of year and set yourself up to make it “the most wonderful”
we would love for you to join the Cyclebreakers who are already opening space to connect deeper through a journey I guide you through
breathwork, cognitive and somatic tools to prepare for the holiday season that’s been described as a “minefield of triggers.”
Are you prepared to make yourself a priority so everyone gets the best of you this season?
Jump in and join us. The practice of even creating that space for yourself will be the “calm before the storm” you’ll need for you and your family to thrive.
You (and they) deserve it.
Nima
