When He Doesn’t Want To Work On The Relationship
If you’ve ever wanted to change your relationship,
and your partner wasn’t on board…
pay close attention.
Constant arguments,
feeling gaslit, having
your emotions invalidated.
When you give feedback — they jump and become defensive and tell you why you’re wrong.
You want to feel seen and heard and understood.
You’ve read all the books and done the podcasts,
and I am sure you’ve talked to a therapist or counsellor at least once,
But your partner is still like a brick wall.
If you’re going through all of these,
just know it’s not your fault.
There are unconscious forces at play that have brought the two of you together. Unresolved childhood dynamics intertwining your story,
and you were NEVER given the tools to deal with it.
You didn’t have the awareness to become Trigger-Proof and create conscious polarity.
How could you have?
Look at the relationship of your parents.
Can you see any pattern here?
Can you see yourself reliving it with your family and children?
Luckily, with a short term plan of learning how to regulate your nervous system, and a long term vision of mastering the conflict/repair cycle,
you won’t have to get anxious about the push-pull dynamic anymore.
You won’t have to settle for breadcrumbs.
You won’t have to go through constantly wondering “should I stay or go?”
Because you’ve learned how to turn conflicts into deeper intimacy.
You’ve learned to love yourself and KNOW your sense of self worth.
When you do — you’re able to leave a shitty situation that isn’t meeting you at the level you know you deserve.
Because we don’t have relationships based on what we desire.
We have relationships based on what we FEEL WE deserve.
You can’t change a stalemate in a relationship by trying to get the OTHER person to change.
It’s gotta begin internally — and you know it.
When you do, the other person treats you differently as a reflection of how you’re treating yourself differently.
Or, if they don’t, (as I shared in this video warning I made to men who refuse to do the work) you will have the courage to leave.
Healing work is like weight loss…
Ideally you can get healthier as a couple.
But in reality, you don’t need the other person to do it with you.
It’s your own inner journey where ultimately the reward is feeling safer in your own skin,
no matter what’s happening on the outside.
That’s when the stalemate begins to move forward and you have access to what you truly want. A secure relationship that has magnetism.
You deserve it.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
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P.S. If you are ready to get a small taste of what it would feel like
to practice the art of repair with other folks on the same journey as you,
and you know that upgrading your relationship game
will help you become the secure and magnetic partner you’ve always wanted to be,
or you’re a couple wanting 2024 to be completely different at home to be a better example for your children,
we have 2 spots remaining for guests at my upcoming Overview Experience from 12–6pm PST 3–9pm EST
on Saturday the 16th (Early sunday morning in Oz)
You will learn:
The Mastery of Nervous system Regulation — why knowing this gives you an unfair advantage in relationships and parenting
How to clear the resentment/regret from the past
Healing from shame and guilt and mastery of the Inner Critic
How to repair from rupture and create even deeper intimacy.
If you’re ready to make these skills a new priority in your life,
I’ll meet you there.
questions? Hit reply and ask.
I’m listening.
