When Your Partner Isn’t On Board With Healing

Dr. Nima Rahmany
3 min readFeb 11, 2023

--

What if your partner doesn’t want to “do the work”?

I get this question all the time.
This video is an excerpt from our recent “Breathwork and Badassery” Experience.

I get this question almost every single time.

It’s almost as though we aren’t going to take part in our healing unless we have permission first.

This is the hallmark of Co-Dependency.

The very reason why you must — will be the very reason why you say you can’t.

Many folks resist the work because deep down they think

“If I heal — I know I will outgrow my partner.”

This is the toughest part of Trauma Bonds.
We know that the quality of our lives depend on us healing and breaking free from them.

BUT:

We don’t want to let them go.
We’re addicted to them.

Even worse: They form a part of our identity.

You were born into it.
Your learned it from your parents.

And guess what?

You’re teaching it to your children (without even knowing).

This is where courage comes in.

It takes courage to become a Cyclebreaker.

It takes courage to say “this isn’t to save us. This is to save me. I can’t keep sinking with this ship anymore.”

When people apply to work with us, we often say:

“What if they say no?”
“What if they don’t help you pay for it?”
“What if you didn’t have their support and permission?”

The question is — WOULD YOU STILL BE COMMITTED TO DOING IT?

If the answer is no —
then no judgment here. I get it.

The fear of the unknown is often worse than the known — even if the “known” is miserable.

If you’re finally ready to figure out what self love looks like…
so that 1) they either feel inspired by who you’ve become and are too scared to lose you and will step up to meet you…

or 2) You gather the emotional and material resources to FINALY say yes to yourself and OWN what you deserve…. and step away with love — with an open heart….Free from the Trauma Bonds that tie you together…

The invitation is there…

lean in, and jump into our upcoming event, or apply to receive guidance from a specialist in Breaking free from Trauma Bonds.

I’ve lived it.
I know how hard it is to be “the bad guy”.

The fear and guilt of being the villain in someone’s story is enough to keep you stuck there for decades —
destroying your mental health and rotting your insides and aging you into Chronic illness.

It’s all tied together in the mind/body connection.

It’s certainly not your fault.

It didn’t start with you,
but it can end with you.

See you at the next perfect time, and let me know if this clip from our recent event resonates with you.
Nima

Are you ready for a mature conversation about Love, Sex, and Money Trauma?
Jump into our free fb group that ends Feb 25th and receive free training and guidance.

--

--

Dr. Nima Rahmany
Dr. Nima Rahmany

Written by Dr. Nima Rahmany

Dr. Nima Rahmany is a retired Chiropractor and interpersonal trauma specialist studying and teaching principles of healing mind and body.

No responses yet