Your Trauma Story
Revelations from working with clients this week:
Everyone of us have a relationship with our Trauma stories.
No matter how committed we are towards something — especially healing — the second we get triggered back into our Trauma Stories…
Trauma stories about money…
Trauma stories about relationships…
Trauma stories about Infidelity,
We COMPLETELY FORGET our commitments and outcomes,
and BECOME the story.
That’s why it’s impossible to heal from our traumas alone, or through a book or podcast. Not that they aren’t helpful. Of course education is ESSENTIAL to our growth.
But it’s IMPOSSIBLE without a guide helping hold a mirror to let us know we’re IN THE VERY TRAUMA STORY we’re looking to heal.
When we’re IN IT — we have MERGED with it — and it’s now possessed us.
When I commit to healing my anxious attachment wounds, or the effects of money trauma, or even sexual trauma, I SIMPLY CAN NOT HEAL without having it activated, causing me to fall INTO THE STORY. Its what I sign up — to get it activated — for the purpose of HEALING it, and breaking through — in the body response ITSELF.
Step by step…
That’s why when it gets activated, it doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong or failing.
I’m called to confront it at a SOMATIC LEVEL.
That’s why your talk therapy alone can’t work.
We can’t do it alone, and no one can do it for us.
It takes RADICAL courage to break this cycle.
The biggest obstacle for me healing my trauma story will be the
trauma story itself.
If you’re new here, welcome.
This community is about helping people break their bonds to those trauma stories and create freedom from them, so they no longer unconsciously ruin relationships, sabotage health, and suck the life out of our brief time on this planet.
When we break those bonds, we literally break the cycle and prevent it from being passed down to our children.
When we don’t, without any fault or blame — we pass that trauma down to the next generation.
I get a lot of DM’s from people who say they’re ready, they’re fed up and they are ready to do the work, and apply to invest in our container.
The most gut-wrenching is listening to the pain in their stories, how much shame is running their lives, how anxiety is running the show, and how little confidence they have in themselves…. saying they’re tired and can’t go on like this….
Then, when the application process starts — and they begin to fill out some details about their trauma story (part of us knowing more about what’s going on with your story) — then, they get caught in it — have an emotional trigger/flashback come up — and freeze in fear.
“Oh shit — this is getting real now isn’t it.” (Deer in headlights)
“Maybe I’ll do this tomorrow” (Avoidance/flight)
“What’s he going to do with this information? He’s just trying to take our money — just like the rest of them!” (Fight)
Resistance to healing our Traumas show up up in a myriad of ways to stop us.
The greatest threat to the ego is change, and the possibility of feeling shame.
Any time we feel we can’t commit the time, or resources towards ourselves to heal — it’s not usually because of those reasons.
The real reason: Fear of failure. Fear of exposing shame. Fear that “I’m bad.” Because we don’t want to feel or acknowledge those things — we make up excuses instead.
And all the things that we use as excuses to stop us sound convincing when we are in the trauma story, but the fact is — it’s just another strategy to avoid feeling fear.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of being “too busy — my schedule is overloaded already”
(overloading our schedule is an unconscious motive to NOT feel our grief/unworthiness — a FEAR of feeling those feelings).
-Fear of outgrowing / losing someone when we heal because we’re trauma bonded to them — “If I heal my trauma I know I will not be with this person anymore.”
Not trusting in yourself
Fear you’re going to be scammed (Not trusting others).
The trauma stories we’re actually WANTING HEALING FROM — will take over and we can’t even see it.
Its’ the toughest part of what we do, especially when we hear about the impact this is having on the next generation. It’s impossible not to, and it’s not anyone’s fault so there’s no shame in it.
If you’re doing the REAL work — which is addressing the wounds DIRECTLY (rather than indirectly), I salute your courage. Healing doesn’t happen without courage. There’s no such thing as “waiting until there’s a better time.”
If you’ve been here on the sidelines, having fears and doubts, and you’re ready to break the cycle, please comment here — and send me a DM telling me why this time is different.
For the rest, who have been lurking and sitting on the sidelines, who are wanting to check it out first before going all-in,
April 23rd from 12–4pm PST (3–7pm EST) is your chance. (That’s early Sunday morning the 24th in Oz).
Breathwork and Badassery is a monthly event for our Cyclebreakers Collective community — and you’re invited to come as a guest.
It begins with your life history, your Trauma Story that’s been keeping you stuck — and how you likely got to feeling and relating to others exactly how you’re feeling and relating to them — and to begin to change the step in the familiar dance of our Trauma Stories into creating a life of YOUR DESIGN with relationships that are secure and nourishing.
Then we go into a beautiful integration with the younger parts of yourself that get activated in your Trauma stories… and you then learn the art of regulating your nervous system and changing that story in your body —
It’s a whole bodied experience of connection back with yourself and your heart.
No weird shit.
Just a beautiful container (community) and your willingness to learn how to become better at loving yourself and others.
World Class community and container for a fraction of the value you will get OUT of it.
You either learn how to change the trauma story held in your body — — or the trauma story will OWN YOU.
You CAN learn how.
I’ll be there, and so will many cyclebreakers.
Click HERE to join us.